Can we talk about skinny jeans?

Boys:
Don't do it. Ever.

Thin Girls With Trim Legs:
Do. I'm not going to hate on you. You guys can pull off anything and make it work for you so get on with your bad selves.

Girls who don't have petite model bods:
I am not just popping off here. I have read what fashion experts have to say because I wanted to make sure that I wasn't out in left field. Indications are if you are "thicker, like sizes 12-14, "you can still pull them off but be choosy about which ones you buy." Woah wait. Excuse me? Size 12 is "thick??!!" Shoot. Vogue refused to acknowledge that anyone over a size 14 would even look at skinny jeans. Not that you should be a style slave to fashion magazines, but sometimes they know what they are talking about.

In short? If you're thick for real... Don't. Do. It. You are beautiful - true. A less than runway modelesque body shouldn't limit your style - true. But if you are strapping a tight pair of these things on when you can't pull it off it will straight up kill your look. Your cute bubble butt will look enormous, your deliciously thick and maybe muscular thighs and legs will look like tree trunks, and your hip width will be grossly exaggerated by the harsh taper. And you don't want that right? It's like bikinis. I, for one, cannot and should NOT ever even try to pull one off. Ever. But that doesn't stop me from rocking a hot halter one-piece at the beach. Hells ya. The same sentiment applies here. Do you, but do it right.

Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen of Fashionia

The coolest thing I have seen since the 'Evolution of Dance' video.

Courtney, I know you are dancing to this in your office.

Why I know I am entitled to a GREAT weekend...

Because so far this week I......

Missed Trax and the express bus twice.
This means being forced to ride the regular bus where 4.6 seconds after acceleration I am soundly motion sick and then there are people with space issues, neck tattoos, and a handful that, on more one occasion, have openly had heated conversations with themselves.

Tweaked my shoulder working out.
I've tweaked a lot of things in my day but my right shoulder has proudly remained unscathed despite my glorious seven years of throwing shot-put. Streak broken.


Had to sit next to a BYU Spanish professor that had mind-boggling halitosis.
And I DO mean the worst I have ever wiffed. In. My. Life. I though my olfactory system was going to revolt and refuse me air.


My last working earphones broke.
Nothing here. It just sucked.

Broke a nail that I JUST painted.


..And was called "sir" on the phone. AGAIN.
No, I don't want to talk about it.

So convenient rational tells me I am going to have a kick A weekend. I'll let you know how it goes.


Update: It was.

Heard on the train this morning....

A guy was asking this guy sitting next to me the following series of questions. The guy took it all in stride and answered all of the questioners very enthusiastic inquiries. But I had to look out the window a few times to hide the laughter...

What time is it?
What's your name?
What kind of a phone is that?
Well now what kind of phone color is that?
Where did you get it?
Will you get me one like that?
If I dip carrots in dressing will it affect my weight?
Do you like Red Lobster?
Do you know how to make a roast?
With carrots?
Do they have clock radios at Walmart?
How much are they?
What colors do they have?
Will you get me one?
What's in your bag?
Why do you have a red Mt. Dew?
Will you take me to lunch today?

A Wendover Story......

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH...............




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH........



UHHHHHHHHH.............


AWWWWW...............

We've been through a lot....

My plant Gloria and I have been through it this summer. We've had ups, we've had downs. She's had to deal with my occasional neglect and I have had to manage her excessive neediness. Well it all paid off yesterday when I found this little number. It's made it all worthwhile. Thanks G. I'll consider it an autumn gift.

Update: A damn cat ate the bloom. But another one is coming..

American entitlement. Guilty as charged.

People were ticked. and I mean just PISSED. I just got off the UTA express bus running from UVU in Orem to Sandy Trax, and you would have thought we just came from the veritable hell of the New Orleans Superdome after Katrina. The bus was crowded - as in standing room only - back to front crowded. Students had to take off their backpacks to allow more room to stand and were breathing sweet nothings in each others ears. True - I would think there would be some kind of a code against that many riders on a bus, but based on reactions I am pretty sure some people felt that their human rights were being violated. People were yelling at how UTA was turning a blind eye because it was Orem and not "Salt Lake." Man-boys majoring in economics were tittering about how bus officials were unfairly spending taxpayer dollars and middle-aged yuppies were bemoaning the risk of picking up "that flu-bug going around" with people in such close proximity to each other. And one guy some how got a hold of the intercom and asked passengers to "unite" and call or write UTA to let them know that "we won't stand for this!" Bear in mind this ride was only as packed for about 11 minutes until the bus arrived in American Fork where it emptied almost by half......

Cue flashback sequence......................

It took me back to about two years ago when I was in Fiji on a bus. The bus was about 48 years-old, for one, with broken glass on some of the windows. In the back there were a bunch of chickens in cages and wood planks replaced cushions on some of the seats. If the fowls didn't contribute enough to the stench on board, the mind-boggling B.O. from passengers in closed-quarters with no AC topped it right off. By the end of that bus ride not only was it packed but strangers were literally sitting on each others laps to make more standing room in the aisles...... And no one said a word. It was business as usual for them.

.................Back to present

Nonetheless, I am all about due process and conflict resolution. After my own seat partner got off the bus on our route's only stop between Orem and Sandy, I adjusted my personal overhead air-vent along with my absent neighbors, leaned against the shaded glass on the spotless window, opened my laptop, and while using the convenient on-board wireless the UTA express offers, I sent the transit authority an email suggesting an extra bus run to alleviate crowding. God bless America.