Boyz II Men ...II hotness

I am lame. I haven't been to a concert since Prince like three years ago. But what a way to make a concert comeback. The Boyz II Men concert was amazing. If I had been a touch closer I would have thrown my panties on stage. Believe it.

The next 25 of the.....

Ya, it has maybe taken me longer than I thought in this quest but I am getting there. Sprinkles and glitter for all!


26. Arrested Development - it paved the way for shows like The Office and Modern Family and was the best show on television before its untimely departure off the air.
27. People who say the word "splendid"
28. Zippo barbecue lighters
29. A good Mars Roll
30. Don Henley, circa 1989
31. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
32. Amelia's HILARIOUS blog - ameliorateme.blogspot.com
33. McDonalds Hazelnut Iced Coffee - Thanks Ange for making me crave it fortnightly. You suck.
34. Bubble wrap
35. Super Mario Brothers. The first one. We just got it at my house. Changed my life.
36. Urban Campfires in my backyard
37. Colgate wisps. I have to discipline myself not to use more than two a day.
38. Lenny Kravitz. Love his style, love his bod, love his voice, love his music and LOVE his sexy.
39. 30 Rock. Laugh out loud hilarious.
40. Songs that can make me cry
41. Our new golf cart Jezebel
42. Guys that have a set of their own tools.
43. Simply Sushi in downtown SLC
44. Carlsbad State Beach
45. Costco Hot Dogs....to my everlasting shame
46. Toe socks in the winter. I don't like socks but Utah winters make them a must. But toes socks keep your feet warm while keeping your pigs free
47. RoundUp. Kills weeds on the spot
48. Rob Thomas Cradlesong Album
49. Butter Cream Frosting
50. Dayquil

Goodbye Summer. Thanks for having us.

Rated R for Sexual Situations

It's probably the sickest thing that has happened to me since the orange incident of 2004. But by sharing it and getting it out in the open I hope to release some of the horror that I am suffering through with the hourly flashbacks. Yesterday I was trimming the lavender in my flower beds (yes I am officially 65) and I looked down and saw two giant praying mantises having praying mantis sex on my forearm. Clearly they were exhibitionists because she was actively crawling up my arm with him on top. I freaked out and tossed them off. But from their dirty dirty deed they left this thick yellow-white mucus on my arm and right hand...and handle of my trimmers....and shirt... and shorts. It was every where. EVERYWHERE. And there was so... much.. of ..it. (Pause and deep breath) My stomach was turning and I wanted to scream but my neighbor was like 10 feet away getting into her car and I didn't want to cause alarm. But those dirty bugs just kept right on doing it. As my world was falling apart, still mounted, they started crawling up the side of the house, probably for maximum visibility for their sick voyeuristic bug friends. My silver lining, I thought, was that I would be able to see her rip his head off (as lore has it) after they were done. Nope. They just went about their business after. Damn progressives. Just be warned. It's the end of the summer and mantis love is in the air. If you see a mantis couple mounted flee immediately because I am pretty sure they are going to try and get you involved. And its NOT pretty.

Dear Jaywalking Pedestrians in Salt Lake,

You've been testing me for years and now I'm done. I will no longer be yielding or stopping for you as you traipse across the road without a care. Maybe if I didn't live four blocks away from Energy Solutions Arena (with Jazz games, concerts and other crap every other freakin night) and three blocks away from the Gateway Mall (idiot tourists and moron teenagers), I would have a few more years of patience left in me. But I don't. Today driving by the downtown Farmer's market I heard the audible snap of my patience. And now you are at risk. Even if everyone else stops and enables your inconsideration I will not. YOU will wait for ME, even if you have to stand there in the middle of traffic. And if you don't, and care to play chicken with a Dodge Stratus, well then may God be with you........ Oh and just so you know, most likely there will be a scene. I am not scared of the horn and I will be yelling at you to pull your head out and you will look like a fool. Good Day.

Sincerely,
I'm Through.

Playing Dress-up....lets hope

Remember Chuck Norris' Walker Texas Ranger show? I am pretty sure my Dad started the cult in "cult following" when it comes to that series (and probably Norris in general. Well remember his side-kick who was a black dude that wasn't quite as badass as Walker (of course) but could do round-houses with the best of them. His get-up was usually a bit tighter than Chuck's and his name on the show was James? Well tell me my brother who in sending me this photo authorizes me to publish it wherever I deem worthy, couldn't have been his stunt double with just a little more sun. Dad: another reason to be proud of your oldest son......

A Disneyland Story......

OOOOOOOOOOOOH...........




AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH........




UGH.......


RRRRRRRRRR........