Monday, August 31, 2009

Top o' the world....errr

Dear granola-eating, rock-climbing, thrill-seeking, patchouli-loving friends of mine,

Don't say I've never given rock climbing a chance.

Still not interested.


The Non-Climbing Heights-Hater.

Friday, August 14, 2009


Thanks Doug.
The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Glenn Beck's Operation
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Political HumorSpinal Tap Performance

Oh my hells and cow bells

My dad and my brother Jarad, since he was roughly 9 years old, have had these manliness competitions - eg. who can stand the spiciest food, who can lift the most, who can jump the highest on dirt bikes, who can call each other a "woman" (or some variation of that) the most and basically refuse to step down from any challenge. But this week Jarad took it too far. He entered a wild cow riding competition at the county fair. Now I hadn't been to the Cassia County Fair and Rodeo in Idaho for over 10 years, but I knew that it could potentially be bad news given the fact that it would a) require me to go to a rodeo and b) I could potentially have to witness first-hand my bro being hospitalized. When it was all said and done just about both happened, and despite his insistence that "you can't hurt manly steel" I am still not convinced that he doesn't have cracked ribs. You can see why in the video, and he has a hoof print on his chest to prove it. I was also worried that he maybe had a concussion because he said he was dizzy and saw stars and colors for a while after the cow assault. If you can't tell he is the one in the maroon shirt wrestling the cow......strap in...

We were worried for a was a good thing my dad wore his lucky Holstein print hat......

My niece was even wringing her hands...

But he pulled through. Bear in mind these pics are merely an hour after it happened so the black and blueness was yet to set in.

He walked away with with a limp from another hoof coming down on his calf. His "favorite work pants" were ripped and his whole body admittedly ached. But after a few expletives and a couple hours, he was already planning for his next bovine death match. No offense boy, but I probably won't be attending the next one. My ticker can't take it.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Sorry for the ummmm....misunderstanding

I recently returned from my yearly pilgrimage to Carlsbad California. It's been a tradition between me and my bestie for years and includes a luxurious stay in my auntie's massive ocean-front house, a lot of beach time, boogie boarding, shopping and relaxation. Nothing too exciting to report on, but on a drive down PCH from L.A. I saw this restaurant that took me back to a memory that I cannot believe I haven't already shared.
So about two or three years ago two girlfriends and I were in Orange County and met up with some random guys for dinner at this very restaurant. Well there was this guy that I was sitting next to, we'll call him "Chad" since I don't remember his name (Chad is my default guy-name for some reason - no idea why other than in the 6th grade I had an experience of unrequited love with a guy named Chad because he was the only guy that was taller than me in my class. Tragically he liked blonde, pretty, Rachel instead and never gave me the time of day. It probably didn't help that I habitually wore home-made culottes and didn't know how to do my hair.) Anyway this guy at dinner was a nice guy, outgoing and one of those unpredictable personalities that probably made him the life of the party among his friends - the kind of guy that doesn't ask "why" but rather "why not." Well I went ahead and ordered shrimp in this Hollandaise sauce (don't judge my unhealthy choices, I was on vacation). So to eat the shrimp I would kind of put a piece in my mouth, suck the sauce off, bite the tail off, and then pull it out of my mouth and put it on the plate. So by the end of the meal there were a handful of shrimp tails that had been in my mouth sitting on my plate. Well Chad had been gabbing the whole time and apparently not paying attention to how I was eating them. He turned his attention to my plate and the tails and said "You don't eat those?" And before I could say anything he grabbed a bunch of them and PUT THEM IN HIS MOUTH AND ATE THEM. What can you do? It was really too late to say anything, and doing so after the fact would just have invited embarrassment. When he grabbed for the rest of them I figured the damage was already done soooooo....I just let him chow down. Sorry Chad. But thanks for being the highlight of my night.