Thursday, December 29, 2011

This dude

Seriously the funniest trainer I have ever seen. He completely takes the hilarity of MTV's "I Used to be Fat" to a different level. He can go ahead and speak for himself.

"My name is Joey, I am the best trainer on the earth, I believe."

"Everyone does the curls for the girls but that's not what its about. It's about the the tri for the guy. Because when you get all the guys in the room to realize that the tri is in their eye, they back off. Also when the girls see that all the other dudes have taken a reverential stance toward the big bear, they'll know what's up and they'll recognize the alpha dog in the room."

"Get yourself kicked off the planet. Who can put a limit on intensity. Everyone wants to think there must be a magic potion or that your mom was impregnated by a waterbuffalo, so you're genetics are absurd. Sometimes the answer is just training like a genius lunatic and never screwing up until the goal is met."


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Happy Holidays... sans the awkward couples photo

I've had a few Christmases without a tree. Some years I just kind of thought it was pointless since I would be out of town for Christmas anyway. This year was supposed to be the same until on the way to a checkout line my life partner snagged a $10 baby tree because, "why not?" Anyway consider this the quintessential Christmas blog. We tried to take pictures with us in it as well but since the tree was so tiny and we are giants the pics turned out extremely awkward - like we were intimidating a Christmas-decorated house plant. Nonetheless, Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Give me the chair...

So this time I decided not to solicit opinion or announce to anyone that I was going to get my hair relaxed. Last time it was met by shunning and name calling, in fact one kind, sweet, hair expert roommate of mine whose opinion I relied on heavily called me a "dumb a$$" when I told her I was doing it. While most just did a lot of whining about how "people" would kill for my hair and I was going to ruin it. As usual when I ask who "those people" are they don't have much of an answer. Anyhow I suspect that these before and after pictures will more than be able to speak in defense of my choice to go to the chair last week....

BEFORE...unruly, overly big, unmanageable, out of control and I got dreads on a daily basis:

AFTER....Smoother, manageable, less crazy, more control, no dreads yet! Yay.

So do I have people on my team now?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I have a name, you have a number

I have always been a big fan of a sound verbal spanking. Maybe it's because I never really got them growing up. Both of my parents, when perturbed would generally turn to yelling, sometimes gibberish, or of course would resort to a smack. Or maybe it's because a quality and genuine verbal spanking is rare since people aren't generally "on" when they are irritated, frustrated or under duress. But this lady, wow. As a sexual assault victim, she opted out of anonymity so she could give her attacker what can only be described as a verbal thrashing on the day of his sentencing. I mean, she took him to the wood shed:

"I just want to tell you — and I want you to look at me when I address you...You have not broken my spirit. You have not changed my belief in God. If anything, you've strengthened both. I am not a victim. I am the victor, the stronger and the winner..."
"I contribute to my community. You help decay yours. My life will never be the same. You know why? It's going to be better than it was before....My tears are out of joy because I'll never see you again. Ever."

And for the finale....

"Oh and by the way, I do have one more thing," she said. "My name is Heidi Elizabeth Damon. I have a name. I have a name that will go on forever. You have a number and the title of the crimes that you've committed. Your name is Sex Offender, Attempted Murderer. Nice to put you away."

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I freaking can't with this......

Oh my hell. Let me first say I do not own this book. I apparently had a copy of my friend's at my house a while ago and lost it. So I ordered a new one for her and decided to give it a skim to see what the fuss was about. I had my nose in it all afternoon and it has left me with a solid case of nausea. This lady is so off the mark and her rambling seems to come from straight from a women's magazine from the 1930s. I know this because my friends and I used to look up articles like this just to laugh at them. But this book was written in 2004, not 1935. It makes some staggeringly unfair and archaic assumptions about the characters of women i.e silly, demanding, weak, oppressive, stupid, lazy, and demonizes females with expectations, interests and ambitions outside the worlds of their husbands. Moreover it fails to recognize the reality that these days it's often a necessity to have both parents working to support the family - that's a big game changer right there, lady. She oversimplifies men and paints them as helpless, needy dimwits who too often get trapped in destructive marriages solely due to the intrinsic evil and maniacal selfishness of the modern day woman.

Example: Some lady wanted to get a new cat. But her husband said no. She just wanted to know why her husband didn't want a cat so she could understand where he was coming from. In a nutshell Dr. Laura told the woman that she really only wanted to know why he didn't want the cat so she could "manipulate him" into giving her what she wanted. And as a wife she shouldn't demand reasons from him because he probably just didn't want to engage in arguments about it and get beat down from her nagging. Then she went on to say that those who disagree with that were "never going to be happily married."

That chapter pretty much did it for me and I had to resist from throwing it off the balcony. But then again it has sold more than a million copies. So who are the readers subscribing to this crap? Rick Santorum, is that you? Well I decided to read reviews on it and found one good review to every 8-10 poor ones who share the same opinion about the book as me. This one was my favorite.

This book operates on two basic premises:
Men want a mommy/maid/prostitute who raises their children, cleans up after them, and puts out whenever he snaps his fingers. No relationship is necessary or even wanted.
Women only want to spend money. So in order to achieve that goal, they should actively pursue the mommy/maid/prostitute role without complaint and they will get presents.

The caveat here I guess is that if you are actually a lazy, frumpy, selfish, contemptuous and dumb housewife that refuses to put out or do anything at home and expects your husband to take sole responsibility of EVERYTHING, including your happiness, well then sure, this book could be for you.

But for my part, I am lucky to be surrounded by women, who are apparent rarities according to the book, that are great examples good wives and mothers. They stay beautiful not just for their husbands but because they have self worth. They question their husbands and vice versa because they want to increase their understanding of the person they love, as well as be understood. They balance their relationship in healthy shared responsibilities with their husbands and setting expectations for their lives and nudging their families, including their husbands in directions of improvement - be it health and fitness, time management or finances - has proven to be positive.

Ugh I have to just stop here because ridiculousness comes in all forms and raging about it won't change that it exists. Besides, there are too many reasonable, fair and progressive people out there for this book to do too much damage.

Even so if you want to read the most well-put review on this book go here. It's the 6th one down.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Tissues, snot and diamond rings

Exactly one year ago my manfriend and I ventured out to find a Long Beach 7-Eleven to score some Nyquil for my disgusting drippy head cold. Three hours later I came back engaged to him. Thanks Universe, you did me a solid. I guess we are even from the time 20 years ago when I found myself stuck backwards in that tube slide on the playground. This definitely made up for it.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Poetic justice in the most profound form

About four years ago I was in a lane switching war with some guy. Not that it's exactly news living in Salt Lake. There is some phenomenon where, even though this is statistically one of the most kind and charitable cities, once on the freeway drivers automatically become ass hats. It's a race, highway warfare really, and by letting just one car in front of you, you are apparently giving up a large part of yourself. If you have driven here on any freeway just once, I don't have to say anymore. So anyway, that day years ago I happened to be driving my parents' car, full of my family, and was trying to get over into an exit lane. But this guy would absolutely not let me and we were about to miss the exit. Finally I just decided to push in thinking he would just give in - better to let a car in than get in a wreck right? He sped up even more and we were in a game of chicken that he was going to win. I wasn't willing to let him hit me so I quickly aborted mission and when he was up alongside me he looked over at me and sneered.

I haven't forgotten that day, or that sneering tool bag. It's been years but the memory of a guy that was ready to hit a car load of my family members before he would let us off an exit has stayed fresh - not only because it completely incensed me that day, but because he was probably still out there being asinine and getting away with it on the roads. And I want him to get his.

Well last week I was driving back from Orem. Yep, still making that awesome commute only usually I am on the express bus. Anyway it was dark and there were like a million wrecks that night so my top speed for a good half of the drive was around 16 mph. Anyway while approaching one of the crashes it became apparent early that we all had to get over into the far two right lanes. I had some time but started trying to make my way over there anyway. The thing about bad traffic is that most people, the non-ass hat variety, just let their cars roll, breaking whenever they need to. But I ran into trouble when this car refused to let me in. I was really in no hurry so I just waited for her - I personified the driver as a dumb UVU girl in my mind - to eventually pass me and another opportunity to come up. Well that didn't happen so in a last ditch effort I went assertive and tried to push in. She sped WAY up, outing me, and then slammed on the breaks when she was right next to me. Only she wasn't a "she." I looked over and there was, I swear, the same tool bag from four years ago, looking at me dead on with that same assy sneer. It all happened really fast, but right as the anger started to boil something beautiful happened.

The thing about speeding up and slowing down in wall to wall traffic is others follow your lead. And when he accelerated, so did the car behind him, only they didn't know he was doing it to push me out, rather they thought traffic was on the move. So it's no surprise they weren't expecting him to brake all of a sudden. The impact was minor, but seeing him and his car lurch helplessly forward after being hit and the whiplash that would no doubt have him sore for a day or two was worth a million dollars. No, a billion dollars. My grudge from four years ago vanished and anger instantly turned to delight. It was like the universe saying, "hey there, let road jerks be the jerks that they are. They'll get their comeuppance. I'll see to that." Oh, and I went ahead and switched lanes in front of him after that.

Now, for you skeptics, I get that this story is kind of far fetched. With around 2 million people on the Wasatch Front how could I run into the same guy? Well a) it's still possible and b) it is what I saw. And I am sure enough it was him that I feel with strong satisfaction that justice was served.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


11.11.11 at 11:11 a.m.

I think J's eyes are closed because he was just really feeling the moment...

Monday, October 31, 2011

Trick or ......

I'm no clothing prude. In fact there were a few summers in college where I barely wore clothes, save it be undies and a blanket or sheet. I skinny dip whenever possible and probably wear swimming suits more than I should. So I have never been one to judge those who seek escape from clothing confinements. But Halloween just puts me over the edge. Since when did it become Slutoween. I mean why does every costume for girls have to be trampish - a sexy cop, slutty nurse, a hoochie zombie, sexy Disney character etc. And somehow, no matter what the outfit is, fishnet stockings or thigh highs are always worked in. It's not the sexiness of the costumes that I take issue with, rather the lack of creativity. I mean basically a skimpy negligée, mixed with cleavage, stilettos and a hat, ears, or horns, is a costume. As ladies, is that the extent of our creativity? Anyway Whoraween is something that I have been mildly annoyed with for years – I say mildly because for me it's is one of those "eh" holidays like Columbus Day or Arbor day. But this year 2fresh made me so proud that I almost felt ashamed that I opted out of Trampoween festivities.

How did she come up with it? Well she liked noodles. That's the long and the short of it. A quick trip to Michaels and an afternoon with markers, yarn and styrofoam produced the best, most creative costume I have seen. She showed up to the party late and didn't win the costume contest, outraging a number of party goers. But she made me again believe in female Halloween creativity. She even did it without the fishnets.

Monday, October 24, 2011

The power of PhotoShop

.....whats wrong with this picture


I only had two brothers in the United States when this was taken......

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I don't.....I can't.....

Imagine you talking to a friend. You don't know them very well but the more you talk to them the more you realize they get you, get life, get how it is. They are so down to earth, and so painfully real that it's staggering. You still don't know much about them but you sit there listening and talking because even though you don't know where this is going, you feel like there is a chance that you will come out of it enlightened and inspired because of how profound they are. Things go great and as they stand up to say goodbye, walking to the door the friend takes their fist and puts it through the wall. You stand their horrified, trying to figure out what happened, what went wrong. Why?? But then the friend looks at you, apologizes, takes out a drywall kit, messily patches the wall, apologizes again and walks out the door. You are left standing there thinking 'what the hell' and you wonder how you just sat there for hours with the same person that just destroyed your entry way. That's how I felt when reading One Day. Even so, I'm gonna see the movie, whenever it comes back to the dollar seats.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

This month is off to a kick A start because....

My plant, Gloria, is thriving in the wild. She's really gonna make it.

I got to have Cold Stone Coffee Lovers Signature Sunday. Fuhgget about it.

Random Bagpipe player outside the downtown Farmer's Market. I don't know why but it really made my day. Maybe because my broham is in Scotland.

Fall workouts have made me fall in love all over again with the most comfortable cross trainers I've ever had.

I got flowers and chocolates from my life partner just because. Marriage doesn't suck.

Absolutely love it. I hadn't been for a long time until last Saturday but it was all I remembered and more.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Gym Discrimination

This is actually my gym and it's a very real policy. There is however no rules against staring, men wearing daisy dukes, or having restful picnics on the equipment.

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Friday, September 16, 2011

I guess it's time....

Goodbye summer. May you come earlier next year...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Yes. Yes! A thousand times, yes!!

I fell in love with his music in the third grade.

Who's with me? Anybody? Trevor?

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Things I didn't need today..

• Party Rock Anthem at 6:45 a.m.

• The bus AC to fail

• A flat tire on the work golf cart

• A high of 99 degrees

• A broken sandal

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Love it

I am going to excuse myself from really saying a lot about this book and movie pairing, simply because so much has already been said. But yes, the rumors are true. The Help is brilliant, touching and takes you from laughing to crying to wanting to rip heads off. Per usual, the 400 page book gives quite a bit more but the movie is good enough to stand alone if you haven't already read it. It's good. Really good. In fact, I am going to go ahead and place it in my top 10. Get it. Read it. See it.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Humanity - Wow or WTH?

Last week the universe served me a healthy dish of humble pie. I was on the train, hot and with the normal level of annoyance that I generally have on the last leg of my commute. This guy came and sat right in front of me, slamming his knee into mine with barely an apology. He was kind of weird looking and tended to stare at people so I spent some time judging what his upbringing must have been like i.e. lack of home-training, raised in poor taste as evidence by his tacky tattoos that ran down his arm which included hot rod flames, that matched his shoes, as well as the face of an average looking girl that I assumed was his old high school flame - now etched in fading ink and regret on his forearm.

A few stops down a small family got on with two kids. Ugh. Kids are the worst on afternoon trains – I’ve seen them drop suckers and gum on the floor and seats, run amuck and bawl their heads off. I braced for a few more stops of fresh annoyances as they were getting on, the mom first, then the two young kids, and then the dad. The train was pretty packed and there was really no place to sit, especially for a family of four. The mom walked down about four spaces from me, while tacky tattoo guy followed her with his stare. Just as I was about to yell at him in my mind, “Damn! Have some discretion with your gawking.” He jumped up and quickly walked over to her, telling her they could have his bench. She shyly sat down with her quiet and well-behaved children, while her husband came and stood beside her. I scooted closer to the window and invited him to sit down next to me and across from her, which he did thankfully. I was blown away and ashamed of my unfair assumptions. I have RARELY, only once in fact, seen a guy give up his seat on the Trax train. This guy was a kind and thoughtful gentleman and I unfairly made heinous assumptions. I am wretched. And to add insult to injury, as I was getting off at my stop this homeless looking guy, who I see on the train ALL the and who I had decided was either mentally not there or drunk, pushes the door open for me and smiles at me as I am getting off the train. Wow. I needed to sit down. I took a silent vow that I would be more mindful of my mean-girl judgmental thoughts, even if I never did give voice to them and even if they were just a symptom of an hour and a half commute in 95-degree heat. From that day on I have had more understanding and patience with people, giving them the benefit of the doubt and feeling a tiny bit more love for man-kind.

Fast-forward to this morning. I was driving on the freeway through the mind-bloggling construction in Utah County, when I felt my car start to wobble, like I didn’t have a lot of control. I kind of started going all over the road and correcting it was hard. I knew it was a flat and as the grinding noise grew louder I knew I needed to get off the freeway immediately, even though I was only one exit away from work. I pulled off right in front of a Harley store, an automotive shop and a tire shop. Plus it was right in construction zone with construction workers all over, mostly just sitting in their trucks. A stroke of luck indeed. Having only changed a tire once in my life, and under supervision, I decided to solicit help thinking all it would be was a few bucks. And that was only if I couldn’t attain their good will. So I walked over the automotive shop and told them my plight.
He barely batted an eye.
“Well we don’t do much with tires. I could probably help you if you had a spare but…”

“Yes, that’s all I need. I have a spare, I just can’t figure out my jack”

“It’s probably best for you to go talk to them (shop next door). They may not be in yet but you wouldn’t have to wait long.”


No one was at the place next door and fighting tears (I really don’t know why - maybe because I was at the mercy of strangers that refused to help me) I walked through the road construction to the other side of the road and busted out the tools and my owner's manual, while the construction dudes watched me a few yards away from their trucks. I had to stand on the tire iron to loosen the lug nuts and when it would give and fall off the nut I would fall and stumble. This happened with each one I loosened, and I could only imagine the road construction guys having a good laugh. I laid on the ground searching for a place to put the jack and then got up, looked in the manual and back to the ground. I was mad at myself for not knowing how to do this and looking like a dumb girl, or at the very least, not having AAA. But most of all I was incensed my these thoughtless a-holes that couldn’t be bothered to show any sort of concern when I was right under their nose. My dad would have helped, my brothers would have helped, my life-partner would have helped and just about every one of my guy friends would have come over to see what they could do. Who were these godless heathens? A few minutes later after I was covered in grime and dirt, these two old guys from a nearby greenhouse shop stopped by in their floppy hats and took over for me, showing me how to do it and why I was getting stumped. It took all of five minutes and they were on their way like it was nothing. They will be getting a basket of cookies.

I am not sure what the moral of this tale is. But I have kind of been knocked off the humanity high that I got from the train that day. I guess now my mindset is this: “A lot of people suck. But some don’t. Keep the faith”

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Mah Stories...

Hunger games series: Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay. Great story. Easy read. Action-packed. Unpredictable.
I would say more about it but there really is no frame of reference here. It's set in a different world as we now know it (the present time is "ancient times" in the books) everything about it is unique, and the storyline draws from nothing but the authors twisted yet brilliant mind. To be honest I expected to be a little underwhelmed due to all the hype around the series before I read it - plus it's young adult lit so I didn't know how bubblegum it was going to be. Not so. It's actually pretty dark but with enough triumphs to keep you hopeful and you don't want to kill yourself at the end. (I am looking at you Kite Runner.) I couldn't put it down and I loved Suzanne Collin's knock-you-off-your-feet-without-a-warning style. Downside - the protagonist is not always the most likeable, but then again she is a 17-year old brooding girl so it's true to form. Unlike Bella though, in the Twighlight Series, she is not a brat for free so you don't hate her like you do Bella. Because of her background you can at least empathize with her behavior and what she is going through. I would definitely recommend these books.

And then there is this Swedish mystery novel The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo(I was told by a good friend, who's literary taste I completely trust, that this was a must-read, only to find out later she hadn't actually read it.)

I mean, I make fun of my mom all the time for not liking books or movies that address issues that are sad, unpleasant or scary. Mama wants gleeful endings with lambs, flowers and singing all the way. I, however appreciate something that builds perspective, even if its painful or messy or tough - as long as its not gratuitous. The disclaimer here is that I don't like to watch Law and Order: SVU because it's a little grizzly for me sometimes, so that is where I am coming from.
But this book was almost too much for me. It's really good. Like can't-put-it-down good. But there things that go down that are pretty gruesome. It may take you a day to shake the violence, murders, attacks etc. that happen, or that they are investigating in the book - at least it did for me anyway. I am not sure if I will read the other two books in that series, and plus from what I can tell they are pretty much stand-alone anyway. On the flip-side they are coming out with a movie this winter, with Daniel Craig. The Swedes already made one but I would rather wait for an American one than do the whole caption thing during a butt-clencher as intense as I am sure this one will be. All in all, read at your own risk, but you won't be bored.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Mr.S Degree

Exactly one month ago I woke up married. There was a crazy week that ended with a two days of pictures, dancing, cake, friends, family, mountains of food and Spanx. There were some high notes, which included amazing performances and a few tears, and some lower notes, which may include the DJ playing Vanilla Ice and me forgetting to do my hair the day of the wedding. Thirty-one days later it's not anymore real than it was on day one. But I will say that for me, so far, the idea of marriage was a lot more scary than the practice. I live with a guy that I love, that takes care of me like I am the only one in the world, makes me laugh, lifts things that are too heavy, reaches things that are too high, sings me songs and let's me force him to watch The Bachelorette when the girls aren't around. Life is good. Really good. Call me the Mrs......but not for another six months or so, I am still trying to slowly wade into the titles.
Hot A bridesmaids.

An array of emotions

If could choose two people to be exiled on an island with...

Pretty Party

Friends and lovers. Thanks you guys!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A Salt Flats photo shoot story....

On a perfect day in May we journeyed to the vast white

We dressed and undressed right out their in the open
We took some fun pictures
And pondered the meaning of life..
Then I put on my finest slip and tank top and took the honeys to a buffet. When in Rome....
But then we ate too much....way too much. And it apparently put Amelia into a trance...
So we worked it off by pretending to gamble...
The End

Monday, June 27, 2011

Red Lobster

If you decide, during a girls/bachelorette weekend, to spend some time at a pool lounging in the sun less than a week before your nuptials, please consult a sunscreen expert, like a dermatologist or a fair-skinned redhead. If you don't your smugness for actually remember to bring sunblock will quickly be shattered when, even though you thought you applied the cream thoroughly, you find that you are a lobster five hours later, save it be a handful of random spots where you actually did apply enough sunscreen. You will be in mind-boggling pain, and though you apply aloe every hour on the hour it will do little to comfort you when you go to places where wearing a bra is absolutely mandatory. You will most likely be peeling on your wedding day and the thought of taking a sunny honeymoon cruise the week following your I do's may or may not give you night terrors. Moreover, you will learn the hard way that when your fairest-skinned friend, who is watching you apply sunscreen says under her breath "I don't trust your application," you should probably heed the comment.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Nerd alert

I love reading books and then seeing the movies. I don't know why but it really gets me going. Of late I have read/watched a couple that I have some opinions about....

Water for Elephants. It made me look at circuses differently....should I ever look at a circus....err. The book was better than the movie but I still liked both. It was a good story, fast paced and it made you think. Part of it is told from a 93 year-old man's perspective and it is so real as he talks about getting old and how people treat him and who he is now compared to how he used to be.
It has kind of changed how I interact with older folks and has given me pause about how I will be if I get old. (I say if because sometimes I text while I am on the road and if I don't stop it could do me in early - I'm working on it ok?) Would I recommend? Yes for sure. Unless you are my mom. Mom, that's a no for you. (She doesn't like when things get really intense in books and movies).

Winter's Bone. Eh. To be honest the only reason I read it was because I saw there was a movie about it. It was a rough read. It's kind of a slice of life from this girl that has had every hardship thrown at her and is just trying to track down proof that her dad is dead so she can save their land. It's set in present time but in the Ozarks, where people still marry their cousins, have family feuds (not the game show but rather death matches sometimes) and instead of moonshine they cook meth for their livelihood. It wasn't the worst thing I've read but at the end of it all I really couldn't say much about it. I didn't really walk away with anything other than maybe a better understanding of the present day Ozarks, something I could have probably done without, thanks. Sooo.... I am giving it an "eh."

Back to Mockingjay.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Woeful slumber

He says wedding planning stress is not getting to him. But this is what I walked into yesterday. Not exactly sleeping like a baby, are we? Notice his right hand in a permanent forehead slap position. I am pretty sure he was in deep REM and when he woke up his left knee had deep carpet marks.

Monday, June 13, 2011


How do I cooly brag about getting a hole-in-one, when I don't even golf, without revealing that it was at a mini golf course at Hollywood Connection during a small child's birthday party?
I can't?
Fine. But it was still a hole in one and I didn't see any of those other smelly tweens pulling that off. Huzzah.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

A San Francisco Story

I visited the city by the bay for the first time this month due to a work trip. I would be there a week and plane tickets were astronomical, since it was over Memorial Day weekend. So the night before I flew out, J hopped on a Greyhound with some interesting bus folk and met me out there, 15 hours later, for the week. Love. In the time we had I think you could say we gave SF the tourist treatment.
Double Decker tour bus with hilarious ESL bus driver? CHECK
Chilly winds and humidity resulting in mind-boggling hair, and wondering why everyone was marveling at what "such good weather" it was? CHECK
Famous Painted Ladies? CHECK
Lombard Street? (From a distance, we couldn't get our tour bus driver to drive down it, which was surprising because he had no problem driving that behemoth like a go-cart every where else) CHECK
Getting tangled in and inexplicable double helix? CHECK
Alcatraz from a distance because it was way too bloody cold to get on a boat? CHECK
My new favorite place, the staggeringly beautiful Palace of Fine Arts? CHECK
Failed car photo of SF from across the bay? CHECK
Riding a giant whale? CHECK
More crazy hair from atop Berkley? CHECK
Poor wiring in Chinatown that I am surprised didn't cause J's OCD electrical engineering head to explode? CHECK
Pier 39 and more bad hair? CHECK. I really can't with the climate there. I was pretty much cold and ugly that whole day.
Golden Gate? Of course. CHECK
Yes I realize that I've left out the trolley cars but they were down the whole time we were there, which was a bummer because we were right downtown off of Market Street. I did learn some lessons the hard way about SF that I will need to remember the next time I visit, when I feel like I want to give some bad hair and freeze to death again.
- Don't bring a car. BART. Driving sucks, parking is like $55 a night even if you are at a hotel. I turned our car in on day two.
- Bring a coat, and an umbrella, and rain boots and a wind breaker.
- Bring ample chedda, because this place isn't cheap.

All in all: It's a pretty vertical city. Lot's to see. I'm good for now.

Special thanks goes out to Kayla, our second tour guide, and for the thrills of accelerating the car down 45 percent grades on blind intersections. My butt cheeks are still clenched.