Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I freaking can't with this......

Oh my hell. Let me first say I do not own this book. I apparently had a copy of my friend's at my house a while ago and lost it. So I ordered a new one for her and decided to give it a skim to see what the fuss was about. I had my nose in it all afternoon and it has left me with a solid case of nausea. This lady is so off the mark and her rambling seems to come from straight from a women's magazine from the 1930s. I know this because my friends and I used to look up articles like this just to laugh at them. But this book was written in 2004, not 1935. It makes some staggeringly unfair and archaic assumptions about the characters of women i.e silly, demanding, weak, oppressive, stupid, lazy, and demonizes females with expectations, interests and ambitions outside the worlds of their husbands. Moreover it fails to recognize the reality that these days it's often a necessity to have both parents working to support the family - that's a big game changer right there, lady. She oversimplifies men and paints them as helpless, needy dimwits who too often get trapped in destructive marriages solely due to the intrinsic evil and maniacal selfishness of the modern day woman.

Example: Some lady wanted to get a new cat. But her husband said no. She just wanted to know why her husband didn't want a cat so she could understand where he was coming from. In a nutshell Dr. Laura told the woman that she really only wanted to know why he didn't want the cat so she could "manipulate him" into giving her what she wanted. And as a wife she shouldn't demand reasons from him because he probably just didn't want to engage in arguments about it and get beat down from her nagging. Then she went on to say that those who disagree with that were "never going to be happily married."

That chapter pretty much did it for me and I had to resist from throwing it off the balcony. But then again it has sold more than a million copies. So who are the readers subscribing to this crap? Rick Santorum, is that you? Well I decided to read reviews on it and found one good review to every 8-10 poor ones who share the same opinion about the book as me. This one was my favorite.

This book operates on two basic premises:
Men want a mommy/maid/prostitute who raises their children, cleans up after them, and puts out whenever he snaps his fingers. No relationship is necessary or even wanted.
Women only want to spend money. So in order to achieve that goal, they should actively pursue the mommy/maid/prostitute role without complaint and they will get presents.

The caveat here I guess is that if you are actually a lazy, frumpy, selfish, contemptuous and dumb housewife that refuses to put out or do anything at home and expects your husband to take sole responsibility of EVERYTHING, including your happiness, well then sure, this book could be for you.

But for my part, I am lucky to be surrounded by women, who are apparent rarities according to the book, that are great examples good wives and mothers. They stay beautiful not just for their husbands but because they have self worth. They question their husbands and vice versa because they want to increase their understanding of the person they love, as well as be understood. They balance their relationship in healthy shared responsibilities with their husbands and setting expectations for their lives and nudging their families, including their husbands in directions of improvement - be it health and fitness, time management or finances - has proven to be positive.

Ugh I have to just stop here because ridiculousness comes in all forms and raging about it won't change that it exists. Besides, there are too many reasonable, fair and progressive people out there for this book to do too much damage.

Even so if you want to read the most well-put review on this book go here. It's the 6th one down.

1 comment:

♥tori. said...

YES!!!!!!!!! THIS BOOK IS FOR the typical 1950's wife!!!! hahahahah so glad i'm not the only one who thinks that!!! :)