Monday, January 23, 2012

The "I don't know why" weekend

Two things should have tipped me off that this weekend was going to be challenging, to say the least. On Saturday morning, getting ready to go dive the Homestead Crater* up in Heber, I was trying on one of those elastic headbands used to hold bangs back when you are swimming. It had slid down to the middle of my forehead and as I grabbed it to pull it back my fingers slipped and I snapped myself in the middle of the forehead. Hard. I still have a mark now three days later. Then walking out the door later that morning, as an after thought, I went back into the house and grabbed a jacket while giving my gentleman lover the mock lecture/finger wagging “if you fail to plan then you plan to fail.” A classic jinx.

Looking back, there are a ton of “I don’t know why we did thats” from that day, the first being ignoring the fact that there was supposed to be a huge storm coming that morning and J was wearing sandals and no shirt other than the one he was going to dive with. Also I don’t know why, when we knew there was a storm coming, that we headed out to cross two mountain passes, hauling four full air tanks and other SCUBA gear, in Abigale, my little coupe, when we also have a perfectly capable F-150. I don’t know why we chose not to bring any clothes, or underwear for that matter, given the fact that we would be leaving soaked and no doubt cold. And I don’t know why we didn’t gas up before hand or even checked our money accounts. I really don’t know why.

But by the time we hit Parleys Summit near Park City we were driving in snow and at Strawberry Summit it was packed ice and low visibility. But we made it safely into the Heber Valley and to the resort in Midway, where it was just light rain. The dive was glorious and warm but three hours later when we emerged everything was white and the snow was coming down fast, heavy and wet. Abigale BARELY made it out of the parking lot and we were sliding everywhere. We finally made it to a gas station to fill up, only to find out that both ways out of the valley were treacherous and nearly out of the question in my car. (They actually closed one of the passes for a while that day). We knew we were going to have to find a place to stay. But here’s the tricky thing about newlywed finances, which we are still trying to figure out. We have our money spread across five different accounts (I promise we aren’t just idiots, there is kind of a rhyme and reason to it) and that day we had brought cards to only two – the two with very little money in them. And we certainly didn’t have the money on us to book a hotel at Sundance Film Festival prices.

So sitting there under that 7-Eleven gas pump awning eating hotdogs** two 30 year olds called their parents and asked for money to book a hotel. We ended up at the Swiss Alps Inn, taking the second to last room available in town, soaked***, cold, humbled and exhausted. I would imagine back in the 70s the SAI was a honeymoon hotel for lovers complete with the bright red blankets and hearts painted everywhere. However 30 years later the décor seems baffling and slightly creepy when paired with that faint smell of smoke that accompanies old smoking rooms. After checking in we managed to make it a block down the street to Walgreens where we scored a matching set of long underwear (the only kind of clothes they had there), toothbrushes and two Cadbury Eggs for good measure. The following 24 hours were spent lounging in our long underwear, battling power outages and watching Dateline. We did managed to put on our wet clothes long enough to go grab some Chinese food**** later that night.

The next morning the door was frozen shut. But after Junior busted through we made the drive of shame, wearing the same clothes, back to the crater for our second dive and then made it home safely without incident. I don’t feel it’s necessary here to go through the list of everything I learned from this weekend. The humiliation alone is enough to burn countless lessons into my very soul.

* Awesome place, 60ft deep with 90 degree mineral water.
**Chalk it up to stress eating. It was like the sickest hotdog ever but post diving hunger makes you do really irrational things.
***Jun was shirtless with only a light jacket on and snow caked on his sandals. As an alternative he put back on his wet SCUBA boots because he said they were the warmer option.
****Its called Canton City and it is hands down the best Chinese food I have had in like 10 years.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

It's pretty good.....

It may not number among my all time favorites books, but then again I couldn't stop talking about it for two weeks. The Red Tent is REALLY interesting, thought provoking and an awesome story. The Old Testament and I are not exactly close acquaintances but when you put a magnifying glass on a single bible story (this one in particular) and then throw in some provocative fiction it can make for quite a tale. Plus, where there are very few women mentioned in the bible it's interesting having a female perspective, fiction or not. If you choose to take the book on just push through part one, it's kind of slow but it gets way better. Oh, and there is quite a bit of wonky period/becoming a woman talk. So brace yourself for that weirdness.

Friday, January 6, 2012

The final 25...

Well I finished it. My 100 day quest only took like, ummm 650 days. But at least I successfully came up with 100 things I truly love. Sadly my muse and inspiration for the quest fell short on his love list by about 64. But let's be honest. We knew it would end up this way didn't we?

76. The first day in spring when you can go outside without a jacket.
77. Almond Butter
78. Ferrero Rocher. The official sponsor of the Malili-Erickson engagement
79. Shameless product placement on the Biggest Loser. It's blatant, cheesy and poorly done, but its highly entertaining
80. Audiobooks
81. Having and umbrella when it rains
82. A wide open freeway.
83. Spotless side view mirrors - no water spots or streaks
84. Marshmallow Mateys. They are as addictive as heroin. I generally avoid because I have been known to lose control
85. Having something fixed that has been broken for a long time
86. Eyelash curlers
87. People that help motorists having car trouble
88. Edamame
89. Chef Todd's pit seasoning. It makes everything better. Ask me about it. You won't regret it.
90. Driving on the Bonneville Salt Flats. Empty, smooth nothingness. There's nothing like it.
91. Mad Men. If you can make it past season one this show will rock your world. Addicted
92. When uncoordinated people try to run with a heavy backpack.
93. Finding something good at the D.I. I have never been a shopper until recently since there is one by my house. There is a LOT of junk there but every once in a while you get a gem and it makes you feel like you've won something.
94. Dateline. No I am not 65 years old but this show never fails to suck me in. The ominous background music, the dramatic narration, the cheesy personifying of hot shot detectives. Delicious.
95. Anna's famous chocolate cake.
96. Flashing yellow arrow left hand turn signals. Why these aren't used more I will never understand. Traffic moves better, you save time AND reduce emissions. Seriously, why aren't there more?
97. Village Inn Candy Cane Pie. I don't even like pies, but this beyond rocks my world. It's unbelievably bad for you so I urge you to avoid looking at the nutritional info, even so, once you've had it I doubt it would keep you away.
98. My diamond necklace J got me for Christmas. I never thought I would be a diamond necklace person since they are obviously only for fancy ladies, but I'm happy to give it a whirl.
99. The show New Girl. It's hilarious and to be honest I have been waiting for it to get old, but nope, still hilarious. Love Zooey Deschanel.
100. New Years Eve 2011. One of the best I've had.

Entire lists here here and here

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Farewell holiday season......

Thanks for getting me through the first half of gross winter....

A healthy Christmas haul.

Hours of boys flying their Christmas fighter helicopters into each other.

Family holiday party.

Trax-ing it to downtown on New Years.

A very confusing New Years Eve "loofa dress."

2012 Countdown at Keys on Main. Insane fun.