Monday, April 26, 2010

Ladies and Gentleman....

I give you..... my best friend. She took the entire novice competition as well as her division. Who would have thought back when we were 15 years-old that the girl with the skinny legs, who refused to wear shorts or bare her arms, would now be a fitness goddess on stage with all that sexy. So proud.

.....but I can still take her, no matter how much trash she talks. Believe it.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

It's gonna be a rough day

If you are enjoying a hearty breakfast of a Fiber One with peanut butter in your office while you are reading emails and you blindly reach for your full aluminum water bottle that you have just put a packet of Propel in, make sure you check that the top is on before you shake it. If the cap is NOT on water will get all over your person, in your hair, on your brand new Apple keyboard and mouse. Moreover you may or may not have to shut the lights off in your office so it looks like you are gone when you see someone you know, who will probably stop in to see you, walking through the main doors — that is if you don't want to explain why the entire right side of your body is doused in water. It will take you about two hours to fully dry and you will smell like kiwi strawberry all day.

Monday, April 19, 2010


I guess you could say that it wasn't really a New Year's resolution to avoid run-ins with the the law, but it was definitely something I was hoping to get around this year. Even so, I got nailed in a small podunk town in Idaho where you are supposedly supposed to go 25 mph. A freakin joke. Who goes 25 unless you are in a school zone. My hell. But now Albion ID will have an extra $150 to spend on something shiny — maybe something that says "this is NOT where bad mullets, mom jeans and El Caminos go to die." So by my count that makes about seven run-ins with law enforcement in a year and a half. I have GOT to get a car that isn't red.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


Don't panic. I have unlimited everything on my phone. But really this can't be true. Who are these people that I am talking to. 2,000 minutes???? 3,200 text messages???!!!!! Am being punked?

Monday, April 12, 2010

She knows me well....

This is the end of a thank you email Courtney sent me after her B-day party. She pretty well sums up the rest of my life. Can't wait.

"....I mean let’s face it after it is all said and done, you know after my husband dies and my children dis-own me for not setting better boundaries and I put you back together after you leave your man, and Dave finds a lady to love, and your children disown the both of us - me for the way I raised them and you for letting me raise them - it will probably be you and me sitting in some park or on some porch, me wearing clothes that don’t match and dangling bracelets that have long since tarnished and you in your jogging suit and running shoes, me yelling at you that all that strawberry quick will make you constipated and you reminding me you can still kick my ass even in a Rascal and we will talk of what became of our lives and what could have been and it will truly be a beautiful thing. I love you my lady."

Thursday, April 8, 2010

The power of a tune

So this morning has been a bit ho hum. Most of my co-workers are gone and I am just doing some office work stuff and kind of dragging. I had my iTunes on shuffle and I was skipping most of the songs because since my other laptop was stolen I don't have play lists anymore. Anyway I was about to fall out of my chair from lethargy and lack of motivation when I heard the riffs of the beginning of this song. I was instantly energized and wanted to go for a jog, do some somersaults, write a novel, clean my workspace and generally be productive. The thing is, for you non-Rent fans, the song itself is about a guy wanting to write a good song before he dies of AIDS that his girlfriend gave him before she killed herself. Not sure what that says about me. Not sure I want to know. But thanks Roger. You made my morning.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I finally did it.

I don't know why it has taken me this long. It's not like I am a bus virgin. I have used public transportation in D.C., Hawaii, San Diego and Texas but for some reason there was trepidation about getting on an express bus to go to work. I'd like to thank UTA for making it such a pleasant experience - a clean smooth ride with wifi, as well as a big thanks to UVU for providing me with a bus pass that will save me countless gas chedda that I can put towards that new dishwasher I have been eying. (I wish I was joking about the dishwasher part. But this is me in 2010 - don't let me get me). I big shout out to my roommate Tesha for guiding me in the ways of UTA and for always believing in me. She told me I could do it even before I ever thought I could make it. I would like to give the appropriate big ups to Deity, and above all I want to thank my Stratus SXT, Abigale. I could have never gotten here without you. You will always be my number one mode of transportation forever. Peace.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Get out the lifeboats

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......I can't.......I....I....I don't..... bwahahahahahahaha
Oh Hank Johnson from Georgia, you make me giggle. I really hope that statement does not stain your legacy in Congress. But then again Howard Dean is STILL known as the screamer.

In fairness Hankers did later say he was only using the statement as a metaphor, but I don't see it. Maybe don't use the hand motions next time when you are speaking figuratively.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

After 9 years.....

Methinks that there is a leak in my friend Dave's emotional Hoover Dam. Warn the villagers. This is the equivalent of John Wayne handing out hugs and HAD to be documented. Not sure what Freud would have to say about this, but a song from the rising pop crooner Rhianna comes to mind... "I hate how much I love you." Brills. New ringtone.