Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I freaking can't with this......

Oh my hell. Let me first say I do not own this book. I apparently had a copy of my friend's at my house a while ago and lost it. So I ordered a new one for her and decided to give it a skim to see what the fuss was about. I had my nose in it all afternoon and it has left me with a solid case of nausea. This lady is so off the mark and her rambling seems to come from straight from a women's magazine from the 1930s. I know this because my friends and I used to look up articles like this just to laugh at them. But this book was written in 2004, not 1935. It makes some staggeringly unfair and archaic assumptions about the characters of women i.e silly, demanding, weak, oppressive, stupid, lazy, and demonizes females with expectations, interests and ambitions outside the worlds of their husbands. Moreover it fails to recognize the reality that these days it's often a necessity to have both parents working to support the family - that's a big game changer right there, lady. She oversimplifies men and paints them as helpless, needy dimwits who too often get trapped in destructive marriages solely due to the intrinsic evil and maniacal selfishness of the modern day woman.

Example: Some lady wanted to get a new cat. But her husband said no. She just wanted to know why her husband didn't want a cat so she could understand where he was coming from. In a nutshell Dr. Laura told the woman that she really only wanted to know why he didn't want the cat so she could "manipulate him" into giving her what she wanted. And as a wife she shouldn't demand reasons from him because he probably just didn't want to engage in arguments about it and get beat down from her nagging. Then she went on to say that those who disagree with that were "never going to be happily married."

That chapter pretty much did it for me and I had to resist from throwing it off the balcony. But then again it has sold more than a million copies. So who are the readers subscribing to this crap? Rick Santorum, is that you? Well I decided to read reviews on it and found one good review to every 8-10 poor ones who share the same opinion about the book as me. This one was my favorite.

This book operates on two basic premises:
Men want a mommy/maid/prostitute who raises their children, cleans up after them, and puts out whenever he snaps his fingers. No relationship is necessary or even wanted.
Women only want to spend money. So in order to achieve that goal, they should actively pursue the mommy/maid/prostitute role without complaint and they will get presents.

The caveat here I guess is that if you are actually a lazy, frumpy, selfish, contemptuous and dumb housewife that refuses to put out or do anything at home and expects your husband to take sole responsibility of EVERYTHING, including your happiness, well then sure, this book could be for you.

But for my part, I am lucky to be surrounded by women, who are apparent rarities according to the book, that are great examples good wives and mothers. They stay beautiful not just for their husbands but because they have self worth. They question their husbands and vice versa because they want to increase their understanding of the person they love, as well as be understood. They balance their relationship in healthy shared responsibilities with their husbands and setting expectations for their lives and nudging their families, including their husbands in directions of improvement - be it health and fitness, time management or finances - has proven to be positive.

Ugh I have to just stop here because ridiculousness comes in all forms and raging about it won't change that it exists. Besides, there are too many reasonable, fair and progressive people out there for this book to do too much damage.

Even so if you want to read the most well-put review on this book go here. It's the 6th one down.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Tissues, snot and diamond rings

Exactly one year ago my manfriend and I ventured out to find a Long Beach 7-Eleven to score some Nyquil for my disgusting drippy head cold. Three hours later I came back engaged to him. Thanks Universe, you did me a solid. I guess we are even from the time 20 years ago when I found myself stuck backwards in that tube slide on the playground. This definitely made up for it.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Poetic justice in the most profound form

About four years ago I was in a lane switching war with some guy. Not that it's exactly news living in Salt Lake. There is some phenomenon where, even though this is statistically one of the most kind and charitable cities, once on the freeway drivers automatically become ass hats. It's a race, highway warfare really, and by letting just one car in front of you, you are apparently giving up a large part of yourself. If you have driven here on any freeway just once, I don't have to say anymore. So anyway, that day years ago I happened to be driving my parents' car, full of my family, and was trying to get over into an exit lane. But this guy would absolutely not let me and we were about to miss the exit. Finally I just decided to push in thinking he would just give in - better to let a car in than get in a wreck right? He sped up even more and we were in a game of chicken that he was going to win. I wasn't willing to let him hit me so I quickly aborted mission and when he was up alongside me he looked over at me and sneered.

I haven't forgotten that day, or that sneering tool bag. It's been years but the memory of a guy that was ready to hit a car load of my family members before he would let us off an exit has stayed fresh - not only because it completely incensed me that day, but because he was probably still out there being asinine and getting away with it on the roads. And I want him to get his.

Well last week I was driving back from Orem. Yep, still making that awesome commute only usually I am on the express bus. Anyway it was dark and there were like a million wrecks that night so my top speed for a good half of the drive was around 16 mph. Anyway while approaching one of the crashes it became apparent early that we all had to get over into the far two right lanes. I had some time but started trying to make my way over there anyway. The thing about bad traffic is that most people, the non-ass hat variety, just let their cars roll, breaking whenever they need to. But I ran into trouble when this car refused to let me in. I was really in no hurry so I just waited for her - I personified the driver as a dumb UVU girl in my mind - to eventually pass me and another opportunity to come up. Well that didn't happen so in a last ditch effort I went assertive and tried to push in. She sped WAY up, outing me, and then slammed on the breaks when she was right next to me. Only she wasn't a "she." I looked over and there was, I swear, the same tool bag from four years ago, looking at me dead on with that same assy sneer. It all happened really fast, but right as the anger started to boil something beautiful happened.

The thing about speeding up and slowing down in wall to wall traffic is others follow your lead. And when he accelerated, so did the car behind him, only they didn't know he was doing it to push me out, rather they thought traffic was on the move. So it's no surprise they weren't expecting him to brake all of a sudden. The impact was minor, but seeing him and his car lurch helplessly forward after being hit and the whiplash that would no doubt have him sore for a day or two was worth a million dollars. No, a billion dollars. My grudge from four years ago vanished and anger instantly turned to delight. It was like the universe saying, "hey there, let road jerks be the jerks that they are. They'll get their comeuppance. I'll see to that." Oh, and I went ahead and switched lanes in front of him after that.

Now, for you skeptics, I get that this story is kind of far fetched. With around 2 million people on the Wasatch Front how could I run into the same guy? Well a) it's still possible and b) it is what I saw. And I am sure enough it was him that I feel with strong satisfaction that justice was served.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


11.11.11 at 11:11 a.m.

I think J's eyes are closed because he was just really feeling the moment...