Tuesday, April 28, 2009

No, I am not dead...



Yeah its been a while and though some of you are hypothesizing that I have abandoned blogging due to an emotional spiral, you can rest easy. It's not so. I am not gonna lie. It's rough out there. Looking for jobs that are few and far between isn't the most fun thing I can think of but there are some little rays of sunshine that come with being home during the day.


Grocery Shopping

Guilty. I shop at Wal-mart, AKA the whore of the Earth. But in the past I have pretty much always gone in the evening, so I thought ridiculously long lines, empty shelves and bad parking spots a mile away just came with the Wal-mart experience. Not so. I went there just the other day and parked right next to the doors. Walked in and....wow. Produce was stacked all nice and neat, they weren't out of my fave granola bars and those shelf stocking guys weren't hogging the aisles with their crates. The best thing was when I went to check out I went right to a line-less register and was so happy I not only greeted her by name but engaged in small talk. Thanks Cheryl, and yes, the store was clean today.

The Gym

There are a lot of moves I am sometimes scared to do at the gym. Like there are a few lifts that maybe I don't look the best at doing eg. doing flies on a isolated bench while crunching at the same time with my legs in the air. Or doing pull ups on the assisted machine that you have to climb up on and risk running out of upper body strength and end up just hanging there love handles dangling and having to call for help while 100 people look on. But during the day when there are like two people at the gym, there is really nothing I won't do. I will even put my earphones in and dance in the circuit room. It's like my own kingdom.

Road Rage
I am always late and I drive a moderately fast car. Therefore, on a number of occasions being late, along with road idiots and the stress of being late, it's a miracle that my nervous system hasn't blown a gasket, or at the very least caused a twitch. Well now I am rarely in a hurry and on more than a few occasions cars are actually passing me, while I am chilling at 65 taking in the scenery. If someone cuts me off I wave at them as if to say "its all good dude I get it."

Cooking
Ummm I have time to cook now. So I try doing it. No follow up here.

New Friends
Shortly after I was exiled from the corporate world I made a promise to myself that I would not become a TV rat. I have actually kept that promise as long as I consider the History channel a new friend rather than a TV channel. It rocks my world, thrills me and chills me all at the same time. I reconcile my addiction with the fact that I watch for education rather than entertainment. Please ask me about Krakatoa, the giant Indonesian caldera that caused mass volcanic devastation in 1883. Or ask whether or not the mysterious animal chupecabre actually exists. Ask me the history of the Oreo cookie, or ask me about how Germanic tribes initiated the eventual fall of the Roman Empire. I can tell you. But don't ask me about rogue waves. They pretty much remain an oceanic mystery.

8 comments:

amelia said...

I was hoping one of these would include prostitution, but alas. I even had a good stripper name for you.

Lo said...

J, so nice to see you back. I loved reading your new perspective. I missed you and am sending you positive vibes. And yes, I failed the allergy test. Holy crap. Only thing I can stand, it appears, are weeds. Nice.

Grace said...

so true! you make me laugh, love ya

Wendy said...

Sounds like you're making lemonade...and to me, it still sounds like "the life."
Good luck with everything!

amy said...

Annnnd, possibly your free time will give you some time to go grab a bite to eat with your old pals amy and zoe

doug said...

I feel like you are enjoying the things about joblessness that I would also enjoy. I might even go back to the gym if I had no job! As for the History Channel, have you been watching "Life After People"? I'm horribly disappointed...

Braden said...

What the crap Tiff! You actually watch the History channel? What do you and Doug get together and watch it together? I have one word for that NERDS!!!

Amanda May said...

You are such a crack up! Can't wait to see you! I'm here now, so call me anytime to hang out.