Tuesday, October 23, 2007

"So just get over there and bang some hair!"


Dear Girl in the Parking Elevator that Held the Door Open While Talking to Your Equally Clueless Friend About Nonsense While Holding the Rest of Us Up Forcing Us to Listen to Your Mind-numbing Conversation,

Let me just first start by saying I don't like you. Are really that inconsiderate or just really dumb and blind to what is and what is not a social foul. First of all, when there are four people on an elevator you need to learn to do yourself and everyone else a favor and keep the convo to a dull roar. Secondly if your little friend is getting off on a floor below you but you still have something to say, kindly step off and finish your conversation and allow the rest of us to get to our floors and our cars. I know the parking garage has been letting idiots in there lately but you've truly shown that a lower level of intelligence that I didn't even know existed absolutely is out there and alive and well. But aside from my disapproval of your behavior, something about you has left me feeling confused and lost. While I was trying to set you on fire with my mind while you were gabbing away with your arm holding the door I was puzzled by what was on your head. Anyone can see you have a blond head of hair but the protruding mystery mass that was on the top back of your head was mind boggling. I have seen my fair share of Utah hair. But I have never seen anything ratted so high. The big question is why? Why would you do that to yourself and what is the appeal. Clearly, judging from the four layers of makeup you had on you take your time on your appearance. But what do you think is attractive about the ratted mass atop your head. Anyone can see it took you a fair bit of time to accomplish it...but why? Who was it that lied to you...that told you it was attractive. You never see the Utah "hump" in magazines or fashion or anything related to beauty. I applaud your....ummm originality...but it just isn't working for you....or for anyone else for that matter. It's even harder for me to personally understand this "Utah hump" phenomenon when I spend a large part of my life trying to strap my hair down. So maybe it's just me. Like the mob on "Beauty and the Beast" "we don't like what we don't understand, in fact it scares us and this monster is mysterious at least." Well that is what I feel about the style misfiring atop your head.

2 comments:

amelia said...

Someone needs to regulate the damn parking garage, agreed. Ugly hair is just too much to look at after a long day in the office...

Ted & Amanda said...

I'm suprised you didn't tell her flat out! Utah hair has always bothered me. Its beyon the Texas Big Hair. I can't stand it!