New Years Resolutions: Why I kick a$$ at them

Well another great birthday has come and gone. And as each birthday comes and goes not only do I find myself closer to rollin in a rascal, wearing bright colored sweats and living off the government, but I also am hit with the reality of how awesome my friends are. This year I had a birthday weekend, not just a day, and I am thinking it is a perfect start to what I believe is going to be a great year. So it's time to set some resolutions.
Last year, if you recall, my New Years resolutions were to keep my upstairs plant alive and use my blinker at all times. The idea was to set achievable resolutions so I could end the year with a sense of accomplishment rather than ending the year with broken resolutions and feelings of inadequacy - like the year I wanted to learn a language, take a third world humanitarian trip, lose 420 lbs and remodel my back yard. Ya, didn't even come close. But this year I succeeded in both of those resolutions. I blinked every time I made a turn - religiously. But I was pulled over six times for speeding, license plate and other various violations along with three parking infractions. I did indeed keep the upstairs plant alive - in fact it is in its third round of blooming. Even so, I killed four other inside plants and two, possibly three outside plants. Nonetheless that resolution methodology had the adverse desired effect, especially in 2008 aka the worst @#$%*& year of my #$@^# life. I have railed against it for months. But ending the year with that kind of disdain will only put a dark cloud over the beginning of this year. So to avoid the thunder I figure I need to only reflect on the positive things that came out of the #$%@! year 2008.

- I got a new great job that allowed me the means and time to go on two dream vacations to the Pacific
- I discovered Special K chocolate cereal
- Out of the six times I got pulled over I only got 3 tickets
- My home warranty yielded me a shiny new stove for free
- I racked up some hefty frequent flyer miles
- At work was moved from a small cubicle to a larger, freshly painted cube
- I only rolled my ankle once this year
- I was cavity free
- On at least three or more occasions I found forgotten cash, $20 or more,in my clothing pockets
- Josh, the contender I picked to win from the very beginning, won So You Think You Can Dance
- I discovered a knock-off conditioner which is way cheaper than my name brand expensive product but just as good.
- I followed through with all of my New Year’s resolutions
I am sure there are other positive nuggets, though they aren't immediately coming to me. That being said I am going to start the New Year off right and make my resolutions a little more lofty. I hereby vow not to kill ANY plants that I own, AND avoid moving violations all together thus staying off the radar of law enforcement.....oh what the heck. I'll add one more. I also vow to drink at least four glasses of water a day. (It may not be 8 but it's a improvement). Check back with me in a year. I am tasting victory already.