Thursday, March 19, 2009

Hold the Applause


Dear People Who Clap When Planes Land,
Why.
Since June, I have been on exactly 18 different flights. And during all but three of the landings there was clapping from like four or five of you on each flight. Why? Similarly I take tepid issue with those that clap at movies, but that is at least in a setting of entertainment. I suppose people want to express their delight with the quality of the film. I still don't really get it, yet maybe I somewhat understand the concept. But clapping when the plane lands? You are expressing delight for what...ummm not dying? And if that is the case why don't you clap when you get off buses or trains or when you park your 2002 Chevy Cavalier that you no doubt drive? Ok. Maybe I am being hasty in my assumption. I tend to do that. So maybe you are clapping because the landing was a job well done. Sure. Do you clap when the waiter at TGI Fridays serves you and drops nary a french fry on your lap? NO. That's what you paid them to do. I paid that pilot $178 to get me back to Salt Lake safe and sound and execute an acceptable landing. So he did. End of story. He didn't throw in any aeronautic acrobatics, the flight attendants did not perform. I flew in a plane and didn't die. Didn't even come close to dying (had we come close maybe I would clap.) MOREOVER even if you wanted to give the pilot that extra pat on the back by whacking your carpals together, he can't hear you. However, if you wait about five minutes, you can give him a literal pat on the back when you walk by him at the front of the plane when you leave. You know what? I even bet he'd hug you.

Sincerely,

A Logical Non-Clapper

8 comments:

amelia said...

One of the many reasons why I love you. I'm literally LOLing.

Lo said...

Wow! That is a strange thing to clap about, now that you mention it. I should stop (kidding).
LOL

Courtney said...

I have always been bugged, then one day I joined the clappers and raised the roof and gave a shout. I liked it.

Grace said...

never in my life have I experienced the clapping.. I feel a little bummed. surely I would have chuckled a little and thought what morons!

Wendy said...

Well put. You are so funny...
One episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 (which I may or may not occasionally watch) showed the entire family of three-year-olds on a flight to Salt Lake City...and frankly, I would've clapped for that landing!

Aaron Falk said...

Any asshole can make a movie, but FLYING A METAL DEATH TRAP THROUGH THE SKY AND THE LANDING SAFELY ON THE GROUND, well, I'll clap for that any day.

Also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoGYx35ypus

Amanda May said...

You put into words what I couldn't! Wendy's comment is hilarious though!

Tracy said...

"Whacking your carpals together"...need I say more?...other than you really make me laugh...often.

:)

And I don't clap for landings, even though I'm always happy my flight didn't end in a flaming ball of fire rocketing across the sky.

I think you should tackle the topic of standing ovations next...ever see that in a movie theater...very weird...and no...it's not everyone getting up to leave...it's clapping and standing...I believe I even heard a "Bravo" once...