Thursday, December 3, 2009

Ef

I have never been a subject to rage. Sure things get me ticked once it a while but rarely have a had that vein-popping rage feeling. At least since I lived across the hall from my brother, Trevor, that is. Back then veins were popping, fist were flying and glass was breaking frequently, but I contribute that to uncontrolled adolescent emotion. Nonetheless, a couple nights I thought I was going to have a rage coronary and maybe do some property damage. I was settling down for a luxurious slumber in my new bed, Alejandro, at like 3 a.m, so I was REALLY tired. Anyway just as I was about to slide into dream state I heard a chirp that annoyingly jolted me from my "floating" state. That smoke detector chirp is undeniable but since I had been well on my way to a REM cycle I figured it could have been a dream. I started to slip again...sinking...warmth....then floating...then...CHIRP! DAMMIT!! Not a dream. The thing about my bedroom is there is all these "fun" angles on the ceiling. A lower part you can almost touch, then about a 9 ft part and then half of it is vaulted. And of course, at the top of the vault was where the @#$%! smoke detector was. So in order to reach it I would have to go into the freezing cold garage and get the giant ladder. I had not the will or the strength to do it so I battled sleep all night, and woke up exhausted the next day. Luckily my 6'1" baby brother was staying with me and I made him hop on the giant ladder and get the the thing down and change the battery. And even HE had a hard time reaching it. Well the following night was a late one too. And as I was about to sink into sweet slumber I hear it. CHIRP! #&$@!&*@%#$@!!%@^#%^! I knew it wasn't a dream and all I knew is I wanted it destroyed. Even if I had to put a hole in my ceiling to do it. My brother was gone so even if I wanted to go get the ladder and try to fix it I still wouldn't be able to reach it, since he could barely get to it. In the calms between the fits of rage, I silently pleaded with it to just stop. But then the piercing chirp would sound and the throwing would again commence. I threw pillows, my remote, my water bottle, a camera case and my my yoga ball, but nothing would make it SHUT UP. I tried sleeping in the living room but it was too cold, so I went back to resume battle with the smoke detector. I contemplated setting my room on fire just so the full alarm would go off and I could at least escape the incessant chirping. I contemplated time travel, going back in time and finding the guy that invented smoke detectors and chopping his pinkies off. I think it was probably arm exhaustion that made me finally close my eyes. The next morning I was laying on my side, facing the door, which happens to be the lowest part of the ceiling in my room, when the chirp jolted me awake again. When I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was on that small part of low ceiling, yet another smoke detector, flashing red. It's not like I didn't know it was there. I see it all the time. It's so low it's practically in your face and I can reach it on my tip toes. Of course it was that one that was making the sound, I was just so blinded by rage the night before that logic failed to kick in. It took me about a minute to get that chirper down, and change the battery. I don't think the word "stupid" can even even do this situation justice. How I got a college degree, I will never know.

5 comments:

amelia said...

Never been subject to rage, huh? I believe I can quote you exactly that a "credit card" butt swipe sends you into "a blind rage."

saintlai said...

I believe the word is "blackout." But, touche.

BIGjun said...

... how about when you scream yourself silly every time I show up to your house? Lots of rage there...

Kate said...

The same thing happened at my house earlier this year. Worst nights of my life. And ask Rebekah Belnap what happened to her. Ended up at the neighbors.

Jacelle said...

I only rage when you knowingly scare me... JUN!