Thursday, December 3, 2009
I have never been a subject to rage. Sure things get me ticked once it a while but rarely have a had that vein-popping rage feeling. At least since I lived across the hall from my brother, Trevor, that is. Back then veins were popping, fist were flying and glass was breaking frequently, but I contribute that to uncontrolled adolescent emotion. Nonetheless, a couple nights I thought I was going to have a rage coronary and maybe do some property damage. I was settling down for a luxurious slumber in my new bed, Alejandro, at like 3 a.m, so I was REALLY tired. Anyway just as I was about to slide into dream state I heard a chirp that annoyingly jolted me from my "floating" state. That smoke detector chirp is undeniable but since I had been well on my way to a REM cycle I figured it could have been a dream. I started to slip again...sinking...warmth....then floating...then...CHIRP! DAMMIT!! Not a dream. The thing about my bedroom is there is all these "fun" angles on the ceiling. A lower part you can almost touch, then about a 9 ft part and then half of it is vaulted. And of course, at the top of the vault was where the @#$%! smoke detector was. So in order to reach it I would have to go into the freezing cold garage and get the giant ladder. I had not the will or the strength to do it so I battled sleep all night, and woke up exhausted the next day. Luckily my 6'1" baby brother was staying with me and I made him hop on the giant ladder and get the the thing down and change the battery. And even HE had a hard time reaching it. Well the following night was a late one too. And as I was about to sink into sweet slumber I hear it. CHIRP! #&$@!&*@%#$@!!%@^#%^! I knew it wasn't a dream and all I knew is I wanted it destroyed. Even if I had to put a hole in my ceiling to do it. My brother was gone so even if I wanted to go get the ladder and try to fix it I still wouldn't be able to reach it, since he could barely get to it. In the calms between the fits of rage, I silently pleaded with it to just stop. But then the piercing chirp would sound and the throwing would again commence. I threw pillows, my remote, my water bottle, a camera case and my my yoga ball, but nothing would make it SHUT UP. I tried sleeping in the living room but it was too cold, so I went back to resume battle with the smoke detector. I contemplated setting my room on fire just so the full alarm would go off and I could at least escape the incessant chirping. I contemplated time travel, going back in time and finding the guy that invented smoke detectors and chopping his pinkies off. I think it was probably arm exhaustion that made me finally close my eyes. The next morning I was laying on my side, facing the door, which happens to be the lowest part of the ceiling in my room, when the chirp jolted me awake again. When I opened my eyes the first thing I saw was on that small part of low ceiling, yet another smoke detector, flashing red. It's not like I didn't know it was there. I see it all the time. It's so low it's practically in your face and I can reach it on my tip toes. Of course it was that one that was making the sound, I was just so blinded by rage the night before that logic failed to kick in. It took me about a minute to get that chirper down, and change the battery. I don't think the word "stupid" can even even do this situation justice. How I got a college degree, I will never know.