Wednesday, February 10, 2010

It's over. We broke up.

The other day I woke up and realized something was wrong. And it got worse throughout the day. There was a spot on my upper-mid back that was killing me and got worse as the day went on. It was nagging throughout that evening and I finally broke down and got on WebMD. Now I am no idiot. I know that WebMD is a dangerous tool for those of us who are prone to worrying and freaking out about stuff, but I needed answers because it felt like it was like inside my ribs. On that list was a possible 16 diagnoses which included a pulmonary embolism, kidney failure, cancer and some rupture having to do with your lungs. Luckily I had waited until really late that night to get on and was so exhausted that sleep was my escape from friffing over what killer disease I was facing. Luckily my doctor's appointment was first thing the next morning and come to find out it was just a few torn muscles. Consider this our final break-up, WebMD. It's over. Don't call. Don't text. Don't write. Don't drive by my house and please don't try to get in good with my friends in hopes they will persuade me to take you back. If you want the bracelet back that you gave for me with our names engraved on it, I will ship it. I am going to go ahead and keep the diamond earrings you gave me, as a parting gift, if it's all the same to you. Good luck in all you do and I wish you health and happiness.

6 comments:

amelia said...

I predict you'll use it again within the month.

saintlai said...

hahaha! I agree with Amelia. You'll be back...

Jenilyn said...

hahahah lose the number dude....hahaha tiff, you make me laugh!

Lo said...

Or you'll find another bad-boy Web doc to tie you in knots. It's human nature. LOL
You have no idea how much I could freak myself out when I covered medicine.

Marisela said...

I got your medicine...lol but you no like listen to yo'lovin inner voice.. ME..LOL j/p see ya tonight love ya

ginalex said...

hahaha WebMD and I have been having an affair for years. Alex has been trying to break us up, but I refuse to let go. Even tho I know it's not the bestest friend to trust, I cant help it. When I had signs of pregnancy and didn't know it, WebMD told me I might have a kidney infection and a list of others. But I was 6 weeks pregnant. Thanks WebMD. I now need to reconsider our relationship. haha thanks Tif, I feel like your post was an intervention long needed.